Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Mixed Feelings

My five year old daughter graduates from pre-school tonight. She will be resplendent in her white cap and gown, she will beautifully sing all the songs she has learned, and she will recite with gusto; but I have mixed feelings about the whole situation!

First of all, I want to know where the time went. This school year passed more quickly than water through a sieve. It seems that some silent monster devoured the days like hungry plants devour the rain. "How can this be?" I ask myself. Shouldn't these precious moments last much longer? And of course, I answer myself (but not out loud) with the reminder that nothing lasts forever. So I try and derive as much pleasure out of each day and each moment that I can.

Secondly, comes the knowledge that my daughter is becoming more and more independent, as she reminds me on a daily basis. "Mommy, I can do it myself," seems to be her new by-phrase. Part of me wants her to grow and learn and be independent knowing that I am helping raise someone who will one day be a responsible and productive part of society, but the other part of me wants her to still need my help. Part of me wants her to continue to look to me for the answers. Part of me is proud of every milestone and every new accomplishment, but part of me wishes I could stop time for a while. It's the age old struggle of letting go that every parent before me has gone through and every parent after me will go through.

So if I cry a tear of grief tonight for all the moments that are gone except in my loving memories don't feel too bad for me my friends. For surely before the night is over, another tear will follow. And that tear will be a tear of joy and gratitude that God has seen fit to allow my husband and I the privilege of raising such a beautiful, thoughtful, and bright child as our Emily! Signing of for now with wishes for a bright and beautiful day!

1 comment:

  1. Ah Aileen~ I know exactly what you're going through! It seems like just yesterday our daughter was finishing kindergarten ~ two more years, and she's headed for college already! Love every moment with your daughter (which I'm sure you do) they certainly don't last long!